This is going to be controversial, might hit a few nerves as I probe deeper into society’s psyche and how it influences those around us. Also, apologies for writing anything for a few months, I recently went back into study and have been thoroughly busy researching, correlating, and assimilating all my knowledge into assessment pieces, which I’m happy to report that I’m doing really well both in theory and practice 🙂
So yesterday, first day of the school holidays in Queensland, I took my eight year old daughter with me to the shops in the hope of purchasing her some pajamas for summer. Off to Kmart at Capalaba and while I was searching for a singlet, Miss 8 was weaving herself in-between the racks of clothes, sometimes pretending she was a shirt to buy, “Look at this shirt, Mummy.”, which is of course, was massively cute and creative and I would say, “OK, hop into the basket”. Her teacher made her Class Captain last term. I think she may have been the youngest Class Captain at that school in several years, after the Government changed the cut-off age dates to enroll ending mid-year of an age group. Her teacher said it is because she is sensitive to other’s needs, gets along great with all the kids, and is well – loved by them. I thanked her the other day for making her Class Captain, as not everyone has the ability to perceive her unique abilities. She also aced her Naplan test for the year, her score was off the charts in a all the subjects. We downloaded Pokemon Go, but after a few days, she made the decision to uninstall it, because she read an article saying that people have died while playing it. She’s intelligent enough to make a decision regarding her own safety. What I’m saying is, she’s smarter than the average eight year old, and doesn’t go around doing stupid things, or harassing others, being mean, or generally a bad kid. She’s amazing, and I wasn’t expecting her to be that way, but she is.
You can imagine then how inconsiderate it was when I asked for her to follow me, and as she came out of the racks, some old woman assumed she had no parental supervision and said, “Are you going to pick those up,” as I don’t even think my daughter realised what happened, and the shop was packed with people, it may not of even have been her. But this woman just went in for the kill. I turned around slowly to see what was happening and the bitch stopped talking and granted, it took me a couple of seconds to comprehend what was taking place, which was: this woman was being a bitch on purpose, trying to tell some kid off. So I got up her and said, “actually she’s a really good kid”, but the bitch started walking away, so I continued to say, “I don’t need someone to tell me how to raise my kid,” whilst she nodded her head. So she heard me, she was being a bitch.
I never say anything to strangers when they are like this, being an introvert and growing up without a great deal of encouragement to be myself or say how I feel, has left me being a frozen adult, but it’s only sometimes that I actually come out and speak about the injustice that happens in this, and I never say anything to strangers about anything like that. I admit, the previous day I told some older kid off at the school playground for, wait for it, ripping my daughters arm off the mini flying fox mid-ride, just so he could have a turn of it. Again, it took me a minute to realise that I could actually say something to him, and even though I saw it with my own eyes, I didn’t hear everything that was said, and asked her what happened. She relayed to me what I saw and that she told him not to do that, it could of broken her bones. I looked at the boy and said, “hey mate. You don’t rip a childs arm off the play thing just so you can have a ride.” He pooped his pants, then it sunk in and a couple of seconds later, he slunk away from the playground.
But he was older, and should of known better. That woman at Kmart was older, and should of known better.
And now I come to the part where I dissect her actions; and those prevalent within society as a collective unit.
Instead of helping, or calmly explaining to my daughter what happened, she loudly and impolitely told her what to do. She didn’t actually help, just pointed her finger, mouthed off and walked away.
Does she think she’s helping a company that makes millions and doesn’t care if a few items of clothing accidentally drop to the floor?
Does she think everyone with a child is a bad parent? Shame on her. It’s not anyone else’s problem if she was raised badly, doesn’t mean everyone is, and that does not give her any right to tell other parents how to parent. Didn’t her mother tell her if she hasn’t got anything nice to say, don’t say it at all?
What societal rules is she trying to uphold? Cos all I and everyone else could see is that she was being a BIG FAT COW.
But this happens in society every single day. On a macro level as well as on a micro level. Where have we gone so wrong that people think it’s OK to critisize others without helping? Because that’s all they are doing, criticizing.
What if I had a mental illness like depression, and that incident sent me off on an anxiety spiral? Just because mental illness is invisible, doesn’t mean people can treat others with blatant disrespect.
It’s when my daughter was recently diagnosed with Myopia, as she was having trouble reading the words written on the board at school. First day she wore her glasses, a boy teased her and said she looked like a grandma. What the actual fuck? He’s picking on someone with a visible physical disability. That is not OK. He is also bullying a girl, when he is a boy. Kind of like that time when another boy kept kicking her legs under the table, after she repeatedly told him to stop it.
I talked to the relief teacher about it, and suggested she move the boy. Her reply was, “Ok, I’ll move her.” Like it’s HER fault he was kicking her. I had to point it out, that he should be moved as he is a boy and that violence against women needs to be stopped at a young age. It is NOT OK for boys to kick, hit, bully, harass, pull arms apart, strangle, and punch girls.
Why does society think it’s the girls fault? It’s not my daughters fault that the other boy called her something derogatory. It’s actually his fault. And some people may say, oh but he’s having trouble at home. So what. That is no excuse for him hurting other kids.
There is something seriously wrong with humanity, and we live in an out-dated patriarchal system that endorses men against women and women against women.